In 2022, my boyfriend and I were expecting our first child. Then we decided to increase the population of our hometown, Flekkefjord.

Name: Karen Elene Thorsen

Going far away from Flekkefjord

In high school I didn't know where I was going to end up or what I was going to be, but one thing I knew:

I was going away. Far, far away from Flekkefjord.

The small southern village with just under 9,000 inhabitants was too small for me.

So when the last exam was handed in and the Russian celebration was over, I went straight to New York. I lived in the middle of skyscrapers, rats and garbage. Every day I breathed in the scents of people, food and exhaust.

It was liberating.

After taking a bite of the big apple, I settled in Oslo to study.

Compared to New York, our capital is small, but compared to my hometown, this city still felt big and full of possibilities.

And there were opportunities.

From a small student collective, I managed to build a career as a self-employed person through the Instagram account @fattig.student and the tech company Sulten.

But with each passing year, something felt wrong. I had friends, a boyfriend and a dream job. There was nothing I could complain about. Still, I felt a sense of loneliness.

All these opportunities that the city has to offer, I eventually realized that maybe they didn't give me that much after all.

Clothing stores, nightclubs and restaurants did not meet my basic needs for happiness.

Nor did the parks, the beach and the mountains where people sat like herring in a barrel to get their daily dose of fresh air. I had to constantly fight to get a seat - whether it was in the shop, the tram or in a night club.

So when my boyfriend and I were expecting our first child in 2022, we decided to rather increase the population of our hometown, Flekkefjord.

We wanted to give our son the upbringing we ourselves were lucky enough to experience, with proximity to the fjord, mountains and family.

Little did I know how much I also needed to get back to the fjord and the mountains.

Because yes, there is a lot to do in the capital. Nevertheless, I found that I hardly came up with anything.

I was out less, met fewer people and generally felt more lonely than now that I live in a smaller city. Why is it really like that?

Oslo is a nice city, but neither I nor my boyfriend had any affinity there. We have that in Flekkefjord.

And when we moved back home, we not only became closer to our herd, we also got closer to nature.

Now we get food from the forest, the garden and the sea. We use our bodies actively through daily tasks. We do more, but stress less.

Moving from Oslo to Flekkefjord was like turning off the kitchen fan. You're so used to it that you forget that it makes noise, but when you finally turn it off, it's as if your whole soul is filled with peace.

But it seems I'm in the minority.

Two large studies carried out by NMBU in 2018 show that the closer people live, the more satisfied we are with our neighborhood and with our social life.

The areas with many people, good public transport services and many meeting places make it easier to maintain more friendships and close social ties, which contribute to the feeling of happiness and well-being, the studies say.

I thought this was interesting. The bigger the city, the more people and opportunities - just as I thought as a high school student.

But at the same time, many of your opportunities in the city are limited precisely because of all the people who live there. More options do not necessarily make you happier either.

There is always a better workplace, a cooler night out or a better burger than the one you chose to order on the menu.

There are more jobs, but also a bigger fight for them. The homes are small and cost a fortune. You have longer working days and less money to live on, because everything costs more.

Our 1.4-acre property in Flekkefjord, featuring great sunlight, a private dock, and a boathouse, cost less than the sale price of our 64-square-meter loft apartment in Tøyen.

Isn't your own garden, jetty and sun all day a better life than a dark backyard you share with a number of other neighbours? To me the answer is obvious.

It is also mentioned in another study from NMBU that more people have anxiety in the most densely populated areas of Oslo. The study believes that this may have a connection with the fact that compact urban areas are often perceived as noisy and less safe, and that access to natural areas is more limited.

Why don't we spread out more? Of course, I understand that not just anyone wants to move to a small village where they don't know anyone.

But you who grew up in a small village - what makes you stay in the city?

Is it access to Starbucks and McDonalds that you need to feel happy? A small studio apartment and a packed park? Traffic noise?

In our elongated country, we need to spread out. We need people in every corner of the country, who see the opportunities around them and who help lift the municipality in which they live.

Although today I am a proud citizen of Flekkefjord, that was not the case when I was a teenager.

If I had never moved out of the municipality's borders, I might not have appreciated my hometown as much as I do today.

I might never have had the profession I have today, nor would I have had as much knowledge and experience to take home to the village.

So I'm not saying that we don't need the big cities - I just mean that we also need the countryside.

Nor am I saying that everyone should move from the city to the countryside. But if you are one of those who feel lonely in a city full of opportunities, you are not alone.

I think there are more of us than we dare to admit.

And if you feel calm every time you get out of ring 3, you may actually be living in the wrong place.